Nations in New Hampshire
by rookanga
Summary: It's America's turn to host the world meeting, and he has the idea that some of his states need more "love." So he pulled from a hat, and the World Meeting is being held in New Hampshire. But is letting the nations loose in the middle of nowhere better than letting them loose in a big city? And more importantly, why are there so many bed and breakfasts?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia.**

In which (most of) the Asian nations lose faith in humanity

"Tell me why again," Germany said with an unsatisfied sigh, "we are holding our world meeting in the middle of nowhere."

"Because America said so," piped up Italy, "and it's America's turn."

"Qu'est que c'est New Hampshire anyway?" asked France.

China, who was flipping through a guidebook, answered, "It is one of America's states aru."

"How did you not know that?" England condescended. Yes, the tone of his voice deserved a verb form.

_"Some of us,_" France replied, "are not obsessed with Amerique."

"I'm not obsessed!" England shouted. "I would never be obsessed with that wanker!"

"You just keep telling yourself that," France chuckled. "Oh hon hon hon. Oh! Hon hon hon! Hon hon hon hon hon! Hon! Hon! Hon!"

"Bloody..." England muttered.

The nations were currently in several private buses, driving through small towns and backways in the state of New Hampshire, USA. And they were pissed. But it's not like they weren't always annoyed whenever the world meeting happened to be in America.

"It's pretty," Lichtenstein said softly, looking out the window at the snowy woods. "Don't you think, big brother?"

"Yes," said Switzerland, willing to agree with everything Lichtenstein thought. He _might _even not shoot someone for her.

"I like this place," Russia said. "Reminds me of home, where General Winter has the land in his icy grip."

"Where are we staying?" asked Japan. "Amerika-san did not say."

The driver in this bus coughed. "Yes, well, that's where I come in. I was instructed by America to find you places to stay. And believe me, there are plenty around here. I'm Dave by the way."

"Excuse me," said Austria, "but I thought we had to find places on our own, so I reserved a room at a small bed and breakfast for Hungary and myself."

"You never told me you did that!" Hungary screamed, holding her frying pan up menacingly.

Dave laughed easily. "It's fine, Austria. Just tell me where it is and I can drop you off on the way."

The buses drove along, and Dave dropped nations of at motels and inns along the way. The Asian nations were going to be together, but Italy said he wanted Japan to stay with he and Germany ("just-a like old times!") so Japan continued on without China, the Koreas, Hong Kong, Taiwan, Mongolia, and everyone else.

England, France, and the Nordic Five were staying at a huge inn called the Snowy Bear House. It had been constructed in the late 1800s.

Austria and Hungary were dropped off at their bed and breakfast, and the other nations were distributed as well.

China, the Koreas, Vietnam, Thailand, Taiwan, and the other Asian nations got off the bus without Japan.

As Dave drove away, China said, "This does not look like a hotel. This looks like a street of a town."

And it did, albeit a bright, colorful, clean streetfront that somehow reminded the Asian nations of cotton candy. Luckily, South Korea saw a sign labeling the office, so the Asian nations headed over there.

"Hi," said the woman at the desk. "Welcome to New Hampshire's finest theme motel."

The Asian nations exchanged glances. "Oh," they said in unison.

"So how many rooms will it be and where do you want to stay?"

Somehow China and South Korea ended up together in the "love shack", North Korea and Taiwan were in the general store, and the others were distributed to the firehouse, the cave, and the nightclub.

"Look!" South Korea said to China happily. "There's a two-person Jacuzzi!"

**I really wasn't planning to write another chapter fic. But I got this idea when I was in New Hampshire and wrote everything I thought of it down. After I got home from NH I immediately went to the computer and wrote the first three chapters of Prussia and Gilbert and the World, so that trip was clearly good luck fanfic-wise.**

**Anyway, review, if you would, and I'll see you next chapter! Happy Canada day!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia-Axis Powers.**

In which Canada can't cross the border

Canada was in a bad place. Namely, a tollbooth. In fact, he was at the worst kind of tollbooth, the kind that checked your passport.

Canada had his passport, along with an official government document excusing him from displaying his birth year, so that wasn't the problem. No, the problem was the policewoman at the tollbooth. Or maybe it was himself.

"Can I see your passport, sir?" Canada handed her his passport. This would have seemed normal, but it was the sixth time something this exact exchange had happened. The. Sixth. Time.

The policewoman handed the passport back, for the sixth time, but at least this time she didn't ask for it back. "What is the reason for your trip?"

Canada breathed a sigh of relief. _Finally _they were getting somewhere. "Business and to see family."

The policewoman nodded. "Can I see your passport, sir?"

Canada sighed and handed his passport to the woman for the seventh time.

She glanced up from it to see Canada on his cell phone. "I'm going to have to ask that you put your phone away, sir."

"Wait, let me finish this text," Canada said.

"Sir, texting and driving is illegal in the state of New Hampshire," the policewoman said. "Sir, please put away your phone."

Canada complied, but not before sending his text.

"Thank you," the policewoman said, handing back his passport. "What is the reason for your trip?"

Canada couldn't have been more relieved when he saw America with a man in a bright orange vest. He sent a quick 'thank you' to some higher power that America got and read his text.

"Excuse me," America said to the policewoman, smiling at her.

The policewoman smiled back and fluttered her eyelashes. "Hel-lo."

"I'm going to need you to let my brother through, ma'am," Alfred said.

"I haven't checked his passport yet," the policewoman said.

"Ma'am," America said. "You're holding it."

Canada and America laughed as Canada was finally allowed into his brother's country.

"Oh, man," Canada said breathlessly, near tears. "I'm so glad you came. That was taking forever. Though I'm a little glad she never got further than she did. I had Kuma smuggled below the backseat."

America giggled. "Oh, my God," he gasped. "Did you see her? Sticking her chest out at me?" He suddenly clapped his hands over his mouth and mumbled around them, "This is mean," but his eyes betrayed his continuing laughter.

"Oh," Canada said, his own laughter subsiding. "How am I going to get back home?"

The two brothers were calm for a moment before exploding into laughter.

"I was a real hero, wasn't I?" America said.

Canada spoke to the higher power again, this time to say, "I've asked you for so much already, but can you please get my brother to stop going on about heroes?"

Unfortunately, America continued his ramblings.

But at least Canada was across the border.

**Just so everyone knows, the chapters are probably going to be pretty short. Next up: In which Austria and Hungary receive a nasty surprise**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia-Axis Powers.**

**Just a note: I am a PruHun shipper, but I don't want there to be pairings in this story (though there may be some SuFin later), so I tried not to show it and go with the canonical. That being said, let me know if you felt I was being biased towards PruHun or AusHun or if you think it was neutral enough.**

In which Austria and Hungary receive a nasty surprise

"I'm still angry that you didn't tell me you were reserving rooms for us," Hungary said as she and Austria entered the bed and breakfast.

Austria looked around. There was no one behind the check-in desk. "Where's the owner?"

A short, pudgy woman in her mid-sixties with gray curls and wearing an apron bustled in. "I'm so sorry," she said. "I was in the lounge. One of our guests is _quite_ the charmer."

"It's alright, ma'am," Austria said, making the woman blush.

"Anyway," she said, "I'm Helen Danforth. I run this place. You have reservations, correct? Under…?"

"Roderich Edelstein," Austria answered promptly.

"Ah!" Helen Danforth said. "Yes. One room, two twin beds."

Austria nodded in affirmation, and Helen Danforth gave him the keys. "Your room is upstairs, right in front of you when you get off the staircase. Dinner's at six, but feel free to join us in the lounge."

"Thank you, Ms. Danforth," Austria and Hungary said.

She blushed again. "Oh, just call me Helen."

Hungary and Austria headed to their room and plopped their bags down on the beds.

"Should we go see what's going on in the lounge?" Austria asked. "Maybe they have a piano."

"Okay," Hungary replied, so they went back downstairs.

The first thing the two saw walking into the lounge was a gaggle of women, not one younger than forty.

"Oh, you are so cute," Helen said. Austria and Hungary couldn't see her face from where they were standing, but they saw that her cheek was bright red.

"So, tell us, why are you staying in this place? There are so many more interesting places you could visit," another woman said.

"Well, I've got a couple friends staying here," a man's voice said. Austria and Hungary froze. "Besides, I think it's really pretty here, and it's nice to take a break from studying."

Austria and Hungary exchanged glances. "Prussia," Hungary hissed. "What is _he_ doing here?"

"Are you in college? What's your major?" the other woman asked.

Prussia laughed. "History. With an emphasis on Prussian history."

"Tell us something about it," Helen said.

"Well, Prussia was like this awesome country, and they totally kicked those Austrian losers' asses a bunch of times."

As the women around Prussia chuckled, Austria pushed his way through them so he could see Prussia.

"Gilbert," he said.

Prussia looked up. "Oh, hey Roddy!" he said. "Didn't know you were going to be here."

"Yes you did," Austria said. "I don't know how you knew, but you knew that Elizabeta and I would be staying at this very bed and breakfast."

"Liza's here too?" Prussia asked innocently.

Hungary pushed her way to stand alongside Austria. She leaned forward so she and Prussia were standing nose to nose and held up her frying pan. "Don't play dumb with me, Gilbert," she snarled.

"I-I'm not," Gilbert said, sounding uncharacteristically nervous.

"Now, Mrs. Edelstein," Helen said disapprovingly. "I don't tolerate fighting or threats here."

"MRS. EDELSTEIN?!" Hungary and Prussia exclaimed at the same time.

"Don't tell me you and Roddy got remarried!" Prussia said to Hungary accusingly.

"Don't be ridiculous," Hungary said dismissively.

"I'm sorry," Helen said. "I didn't realize you two weren't married."

"It's quite alright," Austria said, adjusting his glasses.

"It's _not_ alright!" Prussia cried.

"Unlike some people here," and Austria cast a glance at Prussia, "Elizabeta and I are mature enough to know that it's not a big deal."

"Hey!" Prussia shouted. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"The rules go for you, too, Mr. Beilschmidt," Helen said, but with much less conviction as when she'd reprimanded Hungary. Prussia apparently noticed this too and gave Hungary a smug look.

"I'm so sorry, ma'am," Prussia said, catching one of Helen's large hands between his thinner, paler ones.

Helen blushed yet again. "Just don't let it happen again," she said, but not grudgingly. "Now I've got to get dinner ready. Behave, Gil."

"Yes, ma'am," Prussia replied, winking at Helen as she turned to leave the lounge. Her hand jumped quickly to the small gold crucifix hanging between her breasts and she giggled.

Once Helen had left, Prussia turned back to the other women and said, "Ladies, these are Roderich and Elizabeta, childhood friends of mine."

"Hello," they said to Austria, some nodding a greeting along with the word. Most ignored Hungary, and if they acknowledged her, only gave her a small smile or a short nod. She rolled her eyes.

Helen popped her head back in. "Come on, now, girls. I'm sure Gilbert has some catching up to do with his friends that he'd like to do in private."

The women groaned, but left the room.

"Horny old ladies," Hungary remarked.

Prussia gave her a saucy grin. "And you are…?"

Hungary smacked him on the arm for that remark and Austria sighed loudly. "Will you two please be mature? As it seems we'll be staying together in this bed and breakfast, we might as well try to be cordial about it."

"Fine," Hungary muttered.

"Fi-ine," Prussia agreed.


	4. Chapter 4

In which France and England have dinner

England and France, to each other's horror, were sharing a room. But there was only one bed.

"But look!" France said. "A futon! I'll even let you have it!"

"_Let_ me have it?" England said, outraged.

France waved his hand at England. "We can figure this out later. For now, I am hungry."

"I was being nice back in the bus and offered you a scone!" England cried. "You didn't take it!"

"Your food sucks," France said. "Come on. Let's go to the dining room."

It was early for dinner, so the dining room was nearly empty, save for a young mother and her two sons.

"Come this way," a woman said and led them to a table. She handed them menus as they sat and then waddled away.

"What a repulsive woman," France said, horrified.

"Don't be rude, frog," England chastised.

"You cannot deny that it is true," France said. Receiving no reply from England, he opened his menu and instantly cried out in horror.

The waitress, evidently mistaking France's near sob for a sign that he was ready to order, came back to the table. "What can a get'cha?"

"I'll have the London broil, please," England said.

"No problem," the waitress said, writing the order down on her pad.

"Madame," said France, trembling. "Do you have anything other than British food?"

"None'a this is British food," she responded, staring darkly at him over her pad. "This is New Hampshire."

"Then why do you have a London broil?" France asked.

"It's a New Hampshire London broil."

France sighed. "Do you have any French food, perhaps?"

"No."

"Then I am not eating," France declared, crossing his arms.

The waitress shrugged. "Fine. Starve, then."

England turned to her. "I like you," he said. "You seem rather anti-British, but you're also anti-French. Lovely."

"Yuh-huh," the waitress said, unimpressed.

"So, Frog, I suppose we'll be sharing a room."

"I suppose so."

"How shall we get back at America?"

While the two nations were plotting, the waitress arrived with England's London broil. "Here y'are."

"Thank you," England responded, and took a bite. "Mmm! This is simply divine!"

"Really?" France asked doubtfully. "Somehow I don't believe you. Give me a bite."

"No!" England cried as he tried to keep the plate away from France's grabbing hands.

"Come, _Angleterre,_ just a taste."

"Absolutely not! I don't want any of your froggy germs on it!"

The waitress returned, snatching the plate from England's hands. "I'm going to have to ask you two to leave," she muttered. "You're causing a scene."

"Terribly sorry," England said concisely. "I promise you, all of it was him."

"'Ey!"

"Yeah, yeah," the waitress said. "Just get out."

**Hello! So how are you liking this little thing, huh? *sudden change in demeanor* I know, it sucks. *another sudden change in demeanor* Review!**


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